Damn it, guys, I really wanted this installment of Fantasy Dreams and Nightmares to be much more positive than last week’s downer. Believe me when I say that’s all that was on my mind while I was being annihilated by the Patriots D/ST in one league and another week of Patrick Mahomes in the other.

I don’t really have to go into much detail about that second one, I lost. Obviously.

Sadly, though, you can’t always get what you want. In some unfortunate cases, like mine, you don’t ever get what you want. All I’m asking for at this point is a day where I don’t get wiped out by a statistical anomaly. One in which I don’t lose any players for extended time and I don’t get kicked all over by some dude whose team either can’t get into the endzone (Justin Tucker, Circa Week 2) or is on a team that puts up 40 points (Harrison Butker, Circa Week 1). I want to believe that a six-point day from a kicker isn’t too far-reaching, but given recent circumstances, I need to just be prepared to face the top-scoring kicker week after week.

I’ve now fallen victim to a total outlier in consecutive weeks. In Week 1, it was T.J. Hockenson’s coming out party. This dude really strolled into Arizona, in his first game, and caught six passes for 131 yards and a touchdown. It was that classic Week 1 performance where a guy has people thinking they just won their league at 1-0. I’m not saying Hockenson is going to be a dud for the rest of the year, I’m sure he’ll have some nice games, I’m just saying the only reason he did what he did in Week 1, is because he was playing against one of my fantasy teams. My Venmo is @Colton-Dodgson, if you want to tip me for your Week 1 win.

Don’t believe my misfortune and terrible luck had anything to do with it? The second he could no longer hurt me; he catches one pass for seven yards. That’s it. I guess you’ll want to call that one a coincidence too.

I was a week removed from that stupid ass Hockenson game. I didn’t want to believe I was in for another season of salt being rubbed in my fantasy wounds, for 12-straight weeks.

Now that the dust has settled on Week 2, I’ve realized that’s exactly what I’m in for.

That probably bodes well for you, though. You’ll be able to laugh at my countless gaffes and hardships.

Page 2: Florida

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